Writing any kind of newspaper column can feel like a slightly odd occupation at times. Unlike working in radio, where listeners can call in with comments or questions, writing for a newspaper means you are never quite sure whether anyone will read a word that you’ve written. You are effectively throwing your thoughts out into the universe without having any idea where or even if they will land.
So today I am writing on the one person principle. By that I mean that if today’s words resonate with even one person reading this, then this column is dedicated entirely to you.
I hope you will forgive me for also writing a very personal message today with just a couple of days to go before Christmas. It’s a time of year which understandably triggers a whole variety of emotions. Some look forward to Christmas more than any other time of year, whereas feel far less positively about it. Previous experiences of Christmas will also have a huge effect. You might enjoy recreating happy memories but you might equally be feeling sad about people and times that have been lost. It can also be a very difficult time for anyone facing Christmas alone.
It is tempting sometimes to think that everyone else is spending Christmas safely cocooned in a warm, loving family environment. We know of course that this isn’t the case, but it’s still easy to feel that other people have it better than we do.
If you are reading this and feeling alone, sad or worried about the Christmas period – then more than anything I would like to send out a message of hope to you.
Some years ago I found myself feeling devoid of any hope at all. Living had become simply a matter of existing and nothing more. This often felt unbearably hard. I found it almost impossible to identify any hope in life, or any reason to continue getting out of bed in the morning. Whilst a picture like this might sound ridiculous to some who have never experienced anything similar, anyone who has been to that darkest of places will know exactly what I mean.
So I want to use this week’s column to reach out to anyone who might be feeling anything similar right now. I want to tell you not to give up and not to feel as though things will never be better than they are now. This is the case even if you can’t see any light right at this moment. Think of the sauna and snow analogy. When you are standing shivering in the snow you feel cold. Although rationally you know that it’s possible to feel warm, this is almost impossible to imagine when you are freezing. Similarly, when you are sweating in the sauna or on a hot summer’s day, it’s hard to picture what it feels like to be cold.
It’s the same way with the times when you are feeling down. You know rationally that it is possible to feel happy, but it can seem impossible to feel or imagine anything other than desperation right there and then. The important thing to remember, is that not being able to feel something immediately doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. The stars are in the sky even when you can’t see them.
Recovery back to good mental health is not only possible – it also doesn’t have to be a struggle. Finding your way back to a positive sense of wellbeing can be the most interesting, inspirational and enjoyable journey you will ever make.
If you believe only one thing, please believe that there is hope – even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it. I am saying that as someone who at one time genuinely believed that there was none. I was wrong and I can only say how grateful I am now that I didn’t succeed in giving up then. Better times were ahead even though I could not imagine it back then.
Please also believe that talking to someone can genuinely help. There are plenty of us out here who have been to that dark place and want more than anything to help pull you through it too.
If any of this resonates with you this Christmas, please reach out and tell someone how you are feeling. My experience has taught me that most people are really keen and willing to help others if given the chance.
So don’t be afraid to be clear – say that you need to talk, that you could do with some company, a phone call or a virtual hug.
I wish you all a peaceful and enjoyable Christmas however you might be planning to spend it. And if you are the person that these words were intended to reach – please accept this small sprinkling of hope from me. There are better times ahead. Merry Christmas.