Very often people approach me asking what they can do to lessen their feelings of stress.

The negative in that, is that typically they will have waited until they are almost at the point of burnout before asking. This is a real shame, because if we made a point of proactively looking after ourselves as soon as the first warning signs of stress appeared, we could often avoid a whole world of discomfort and pain later on.

I don’t say that with any blame attached. The truth is, in this country at least we are not taught how to spot the signs of stress or indeed anything much about how to keep ourselves well. We don’t have these discussions at school and unless you were lucky enough to have very switched on parents, you probably didn’t talk about these topics much at home either. It’s also true that a situation which might be stressful for one person could be seen as a challenge or even motivating for another. No two people are exactly the same.

The first thing you can do to maintain a positive sense of wellbeing is to be aware of your own personal signs of stress. Of course our old friend Dr Google is always on hand to offer plenty of articles listing many common symptoms associated with stress.

But we are all individuals and no two people will respond in exactly the same way. The most important thing is to recognise your own symptoms so that you can spot them early on.

A client a few days ago said that she knew she was starting to feel overwhelmed when her bedroom was becoming messy.

The tangle in her head would start to spill out onto the floor of her bedroom. For me, though, I could almost say the opposite is true. A messy bedroom floor usually indicates late-night reading and several projects being on the go. Whilst these may be tiring in some respects, they are also likely to be a sign of feeling busy and fulfilled.

One person in a workshop said that when she was stressed she needed time on her own, whereas another said that stressful times were when she needed company the most. The point is that however many ‘typical’ signs of stress they may be – only you can know how it manifests in your own individual life.

If you think back to a time when you were particularly stressed, what were the first signs which told you that you were stressed? Did you see a change in sleeping patterns or in appetite? Did you have pain or tension anywhere in your body?

When a feeling of stress starts to creep up on you do you become more irritable with other people? Do you feel distracted and unable to concentrate or do you go into a state of auto-pilot and just try to ignore any feelings of stress you might have? For some, stress presents itself in physical ways such as hair loss, headaches, stomach problems or even symptoms which could feel like having a heart attack.

Whatever your own personal reactions to stress, the first important step is to notice what your own first signs are so you can react to them at an early stage rather than when you are on the point of burnout.

Our bodies and brains are amazing pieces of kit which almost always give us signs when something is not quite as it should be. We can help ourselves by being aware of both what we find stressful and also how our own bodies and minds respond and react to these stresses.

Once we learn to recognise these signs, we have a much better chance of balancing out these stressors early on with things that help recharge the batteries.

By taking notice of our own signs of stress and acting early in response to them, we have a far greater chance of avoiding complete burnout and making sure that we stay in control of our stress levels rather than stress taking control of us.