SACK our Parliamentarians! Can we please just get rid of the whole blinkin’ lot of them? Every single one.  I’d like to sack all our MPs and have a completely fresh intake. Given the mess we’re in, the argument that we need people with government experience as MPs just doesn’t stand up. After all, it’s the civil service that actually runs things.

Aren’t you sick of the argybargy? The posturing, the sneering, the sound bite pot shots across the chamber in the House of the Commons. I’m nauseated by the tribalism, the ‘my party right or wrong’, the naked greed and vanity of MPs who once elected are so desperate to keep their seats on those leather benches they forget what got them there – our votes! This economic situation is not funny, it’s not clever and even if it were either, it’s still killing people.

We don’t have the lowest unemployment rate in thousands of years, we have the highest level of in-work poverty for decades. Our government is not on the brink of bugle bursting Brexit glory, it’s sinking us below 3rd world status. The Labour party don’t want to admit Brexit is a disaster, the Liberal Democrats go a bit blurry on how soon they’d like us to apply for membership again.

We are mocked by the US, pitied by our former European partners feared by our citizens. So enough! (Not that I’m suggesting a Guy Fawkes approach to restarting parliament. Violence is always wrong.) But I am desperate for a fresh start for all our sakes.

Nearly three years ago, we were in the run up to the call for a General Election. During that 2019 campaign, I met and was quizzed by schoolchildren. As anybody who’s ever been interviewed will know, kids are the scariest of questioners. No guile, no embarrassment, no training to spare feelings.

Would our politics be any worse if 11-year-olds were in charge? They tend to have more integrity in my experience. They definitely have the intelligence. Or maybe we should only have ancient people, with nothing to lose. Oh no hang on that’s the House of Lords.

In the next General Election, whenever it is I want some clarity. None of this rubbish about how one party can manage the NHS better by purchasing a cheaper sort of paperclip. I want honesty. I want the Tories to say: ‘Yes, Brexit is damaging Britain financially but it’s worth it for the independence’.

That’s bonkers in my view but it would at least be honest. I want the Labour party to say: ‘Yes Brexit is damaging Britain financially but we had a vote and that’s that’. I want the Liberal Democrats to say ‘You can trust us to put up your taxes for the greater good and by the way – Brexit is killing the country let’s apply to the EU’.

I’m sick of the desperate ducking and diving from all parties. Liberal Democrat MPs said earlier this week that the Liberal Democrats would support the government’s dropping of income tax to 19p from 20p. I was appalled. I was hoping for something more radical from my party.

Our manifesto in 2019 was to pay for the NHS and social care by adding a penny! Now that our chancellor du jour has reversed that position are we now in the colic-inducing situation of the Lib Dems arguing for a cut in income tax while the Tories shake their heads and say ‘what about social care?’ My brain aches!

The UK is going down the plughole. (And in my bathroom that would mean mysteriously reappearing in another nearby basin – but enough of the trauma of Victorian plumbing and stretched metaphors).  Tories like Penny Mordaunt are looking concerned – I can only hope it’s for their constituents and not for their majorities.