Words of inspiration from Dawlish-based psychotherapist and life coach Jody Merelle.

Will it matter in a year’s time?

Some of the best advice I have received over my lifetime has often also been the most simple.

Many years ago I was working in the law courts alongside a psychologist called Dr Alan Bradley.

He has sadly passed away now but he was one of the most engaging and compassionate mental health professionals I have ever met.

We often used to catch up between court appearances and he almost always had an interesting observation to make.

I remember a conversation that we had once just before going into court.

I think I had been telling him about something that had irritated me that morning, although I can’t be sure about that now.

His response was to say: ‘When you find that you are annoyed by something, ask yourself the question, will this still matter in a year’s time?’

He said that if the thing causing distress or annoyance was something that would clearly still be important after 12 months, then in that case something clearly significant had happened and it might take some time to process.

However, most of the time we allow ourselves to become upset about trivial things that we won’t even remember in a few days, let alone a year later.

Think about the times your blood pressure has been raised because of being caught in traffic, or instances when you have muttered under your breath because your phone has run out of battery.

Yes these things are annoying and it’s totally normal to become temporarily irritated by things not going our way.

But if we allow ourselves to get too annoyed by them, then we are wasting energy on things which ultimately don’t really matter that much.

We also know that being in a constant state of stress is no good for our overall sense of wellbeing either.

Alan’s tip is one I have carried with me ever since that day in the court corridors.

Whenever I find myself getting annoyed or upset about something, I think about what he said.

Will this still matter in a year’s time?

When, as is often the case, the honest answer is no, it helps as a reminder that perhaps the situation is not one I need to get too upset about.

That way, I find I spend less time ruining my day about flat batteries and forgotten passwords and can save my energy for things that really matter.