IN a charity shop the other day I picked up a book which for some reason had caught my eye.  

It was actually a diary with wellbeing prompts in it which had been authored by Dawn French. 

At the beginning was a list she had written herself in which every sentence started with the words ‘I am’. 

In her list she had included I am a woman, a mother, a quaker, a writer, a gardener and some others that are too rude to include in this column!

Her invitation to us readers was to compile our own list of ‘I am’ sentences.  

This seemed like a simple but interesting idea, especially as an increasing number of people nowadays are saying that they are struggling to find a sense of identity.

Several times recently someone has said something like ‘I don’t know who I am anymore’.  

Sometimes this has been because of a specific event like a bereavement or the ending of a relationship but for some the feeling can just arise gradually over the passage of time. 

I tried this out with a group of people last week and it was really interesting to see how we had each answered the question and also what order we had written things in. 

Most people referred to being a son, daughter, father, mother, spouse or partner or other important relationships. 

High on my own list was being from Finland, as that feels like a very important part of my own identity – whereas only one other person in the group had referred to their nationality at all. 

As we talked and shared ideas it was just as interesting to note what people had not included as it was to discuss the things they had. 

Other things mentioned within the group were hobbies, talents, and characteristics. 

There were many suggestions, but what linked them all was the feeling that it was felt to be an important part of that particular person’s identity.  

‘I am “learning to play the guitar,”  “a risk taker,” “ambitious,” “a dog mum,” “a fan of 80s music,” “a good friend,” “a scrabble player,” “impatient,” “creative,” “disorganised.” 

Several people also said words along the lines of ‘I am rubbish at looking after myself’.    

We all found that this was an exercise that was both simple and challenging at the same time. 

All we were being asked to do was to complete a sentence – but to do so required us to take some time to think about what our actual identity was and what we felt to be really important parts of who we were. 

The whole thing was certainly thought-provoking. 

I have looked at my own list several times since then and thought about which bits I want to keep, those I might want to modify and perhaps things I would also like to add. 

If you have time over the coming week you might like to try writing an ‘I am’ list of your own. 

It will almost certainly lead to some interesting insights and just might help clarify who that person who stares back at you in the mirror really is these days.