IT would seem wrong to send in this week’s column without acknowledging the sad news in Dawlish over the weekend that a young girl has lost her life, writes Jody Merelle.

It goes without saying that everyone at this paper and also within the town sends their heartfelt love and condolences to all her family and friends.

The grief of losing someone close is one of the hardest things we have to face as human beings. Whilst many challenges in life are things that we can eventually find a solution for, this of course is not the case when we have been bereaved.

When someone close to us dies, it is not something that we every truly “get over.” Instead we can only seek to find a way to make that loss something we learn to live with in a way that starts to feel less painful over the course of time.

The length of time this takes can vary hugely, but there are no quick fixes to the pain of bereavement. Someone once said that the grief of loss is something that you have to go through rather than around. That can feel extremely hard on the days when the pain feels intolerable.

To anyone experiencing the grief of loss I would simply say the following things. Firstly, there is no right or wrong way to face what you are going through.

What feels right for one person won’t be right for someone else. Listen to your own needs and be as kind to yourself as possible. Some people will prefer to spend time alone with their thoughts and others will want support from others.

Some people like to keep themselves busy and occupied and for others it feels better to do as little as possible. Those with spiritual beliefs can find praying to be a huge comfort at a time of loss. The most important thing is to ask yourself what is going to help you cope and then be guided by your own needs rather than anyone else’s.

For those who do want company, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Find someone you trust and can talk to, but do the talking only when it feels right for you.

Some people will find it helpful to talk to someone supportive very early on and others will find this too hard and prefer to wait for weeks or even months. You will know yourself when talking feels the most helpful – but I have often heard people say that being able to express painful thoughts and feelings after a bereavement has been helpful in finding ways to get through the day.

Whatever you do - and as clichéd as it might sound – when you have gone through a bereavement you need first and foremost to be kind to yourself.

Losing someone close is never easy, but the passage of time will help to make emotions less raw than they are to begin with. For those who know someone who has been recently bereaved, make sure they know you are available to talk if needed and don’t worry about not being able to “solve” the situation.

No-one will expect you to. Sometimes what a person needs most is a simple hug. And to anyone who might be in that situation right now – then please accept this hug from me to you.

Sometimes all we can send is love and prayers, so for anyone needing them those are two things I am sending you right now.