Words of inspiration from Dawlish-based psychotherapist and life coach Jody Merelle
Is it just me? Or does this year seem to have flown past? I remember when we were packing up the Christmas decorations from last year, Christmas 2021 seemed to be an age away. And then all of a sudden leaves have appeared and perished, spring, summer and autumn are history and here we are again. Trees are going up everywhere, advent calendars are in the shops and the Jackson Five are reminding us that Santa Claus is coming to town once more.
Christmas is, of course, something which has different meanings to us all, but it is significant in some way or another to most. It can be a time for getting together with loved ones – but it can also be a time of intense loneliness when there might not be anyone to get together with. For some it is all about writing Christmas lists, having extravagant decorations, mountains of food and waiting to see what turns up under the Christmas tree. Others value Christmas primarily for its significance in the Christian calendar. For others still it might be a time for enjoying simple pleasures such as sitting in candlelight and watching Christmas movies on the tv. Whatever its significance to you personally, Christmas is likely to be a time that brings back memories and feelings of one sort or another.
This year in our family we have decided to make some changes. One of them is to avoid buying “stuff” just for the sake of having a large pile of presents under the Christmas tree. My husband and I are both making a contribution to a Christmas fund and then using it to buy each other experiences or “dates” for the year ahead, such as tickets for the theatre or a cream tea. That way we won’t have a heap of things we don’t need on Christmas morning and we will also have things to look forward to in the new year.
For Christmas Eve we are carrying on with a family tradition that we started a few years ago. Each member of the family can choose two items to be included in a family buffet.
The only rule is that no one is allowed to criticise the choice of anyone else – so if you want baked beans and prawn cocktail crisps as your two items then you can have them. We end up with a different mix every year and we have found that this way everyone, including the children, have something on the table that they genuinely enjoy with almost nothing being wasted.
We are also trying to do something a little different for advent. Our advent calendar is made up of little wooden boxes with numbers on them. Instead of having a present inside the boxes for the days leading up to Christmas this year, we have decided to each try and do something positive for someone else every day throughout advent. That might only be remembering to call an old friend or offering to help out somewhere - but the point is to try and consciously think of others in the lead up to Christmas and not just ourselves. Each day we will put a note inside the box for that day so that at Christmas we can look back on them and hopefully remember a December that is full of positive memories. They’re just some of the small ways we are trying to make Christmas individual to us.
If I had two little tips for a happy Christmas, the first would be to hold on to your own values and traditions. Find ways to celebrate that feel comfortable for you personally. It can be easy to be swept up in a tide of what we should be buying, doing and eating when actually we don’t want or need any of those things. Make Christmas feel right for you.
The second is to reach out wherever possible to those who spend each December dreading the festive season because of being isolated and or lonely. Gestures don’t have to be grand ones, you can invite someone for a coffee, include them in your celebrations or offer a lift to a carol service. In a couple of months’ time, all that will be left of this year’s Christmas is our memories of it. Let’s try together to use December to make some happy memories for as many people as possible.